I’m heading out solidly on plan, but not sure how easy it will to stay on plan.  We’re staying in other people’s houses which always means less control over the food situation.  I’m hoping that my two weeks of no sugar/no grains will enable me to continue to stay away from them.  Car food (for 3000 miles total) will be fresh vegetables (mainly celery and cauliflower), cashews, and cheese.  I don’t normally eat cheese or cashews, but they’ll be good for those times when I can’t find a good source of protein.  We’re going to be in the middle of nowhere most of the time with limited access to on-plan food, except when we stop for the night.

My two weeks of clean eating have only yielded a 1 pound weight loss (which, sadly, as the queen of slow losers, is normal for me).  I’m okay with that, though.  I think it will give me more incentive to stay on plan while I’m traveling.

Probably no blog reading or writing until I get back.  I’ll catch up with everybody in a couple of weeks …

Except for those occasions (which are happening less and less … hooray!) when the evil thoughts creep in.   The ones that pop up out of nowhere and make me think how awesomely delicious a cupcake piled high with frosting would taste.

And I realize that I really don’t want just one cupcake.  I want to eat lots … until I’m finally forced to say “no more” because I’m stuffed.

And actually that’s good.  That I realize that I really want to eat and eat and eat cupcakes and wouldn’t be satisfied with a bite or two or three or even an entire cupcake.

Because then I’m not trying to justify a bite or two and pretending that I can do moderation.

So I have these thoughts and then think to myself “SO not going to happen” and I move on.

Choosing to feel great and in control.

We had a wonderful week-end, although it was rainy and cold outside.  I’m fully back on the  no sugar/flour course … I feel so much better when those two substances aren’t in my food.  I’ve been doing some reading, trying to clarify what I know works for me.

The truth is that the only other time I lost significant amount of weight was  when I significantly restricted sugar and flour in my everyday eating.  I still remember the day I ate a cookie for the first time since I’d stopped having them whenever I wanted.  At first it didn’t taste good at all (much too sweet), but I persevered and ate another and another until it did taste good.

And that was the beginning of this last weight gain.

So I’ve been wavering between thinking that I can’t live without *sweets so should just have them in moderation (which works for the first bite, but then I want more and more and more), and recognizing that I can’t eat just one.  At least not now at this stage in my journey.

*I say sweets, but mean anything with flour and sugar which includes my great-aunt’s yummy biscuits.  I would have been okay if I hadn’t eaten any, but just one unleashed the carb monster in me that had me white-knuckling in order not to shove more and more in my mouth.  The fact that I restricted how many I ate was due more to my not wanting to appear to be a pig in front of everybody than to my powers of restraint.

I’ve never smoked, but I’ve seen the expression on smoker’s faces when they inhale that first cigarette and I’m sure that was the expression on mine when I inhaled that one biscuit.

One of the books talked about restricting carbs.  And that just because you fall off the wagon (start eating carbs again) doesn’t mean you have to stay off.  It may take me a lot of times to learn to say no, but learn I will.  And I will learn that just because I want them doesn’t mean I should have them.  That cravings don’t equal need.

Because I know several truths about myself.  One is that when I don’t have flour/sugar in my eating, I don’t have cravings and I have tons of energy.  The other is that right now there is no moderation in my life with flour/sugar.  None.  So the third truth is that I am giving up flour/sugar.

I just need to remember that as long as I avoid that first bite I can do this.

Eating was okay … I ate dessert a couple of days (didn’t want to not enjoy cupcakes! made by a master baker … and yes they were worth every bite) along with some homemade ice cream.  I’m not a big ice cream fan, but this was beyond delicious. And since I was eating in front of other people I was quite circumspect with my servings, all the while my inner brat child is begging for more, more, more.

Weight is still in the high 180′s … I occasionally think that maybe I’ll just weigh once a week, but then I remember that I’m really good at pretending I weigh less than I do.  I need that dose of reality every day.

I can’t wait to hit the 170′s.  I’ve been bouncing around the 180′s for over a year now.  A couple of times I’ve gotten all the way down to 181 and I’ve gotten all the way back to 189.  I just want to be done with it.  At this point I don’t think I’d even care if I spent months in the 170′s (especially since I’m sure I will) just as long as I never hit the 180′s again.

We did lots of walking/hiking/biking over the week-end.  Nothing too strenuous, but lots of fun.  I did discover that I use totally different muscles for hiking than I do for walking or the Nordic trak.  I have a ways to go to get in the shape I was in by the end of last season. I am happy to report, though, that I do have my exercise mojo back.

Which is a good thing.  For some reason while traveling I had the greatest desire to stay on the narrow path.  Once I got home, though, all these thoughts of things I could possibly eat have been invading my psyche.

Since there’s nothing in the cupboards (or the freezer) though I’ve been able to just ignore them.

The scheduled exercise has also been hard to come by.  I had a lot of catching up to do with household things and have let those take priority over getting myself down to the basement to exercise.

Now I take off again tomorrow morning … really early.  We’re flying this time, staying with friends when we get there which always complicates the eating somewhat.  Love these people dearly, but their idea of a salad is potato, heavy on the dressing.  We’ll share the cooking so at least on the days I’m in charge I’ll be able to make what I want (plus have left-overs).  The funny thing is that whenever I make a big yummy salad with tons of vegetables in it, it’s gone in no time, but if you asked if anybody wanted a tossed salad they’d all say no.

My plan is to eat what I know is good for me and ignore the rest.

Meanwhile I’ll be so glad to go somewhere where the temperature is at least 40 degrees.  We’ve had 20′s to 30′s all week with intermittent snow.  Of course the forecast is for the weather to warm up (warm up being a relative term … I think it will be in the high 40′s) while we’re gone.

I think the universe is telling me that if I’m serious about losing the rest of this weight, I need to figure out a way to do it while doing LOTS of traveling.

I did come home up a couple of pounds, but still hanging in there in the 180′s.

Eating was interesting.  I’ve found I eat less when I’m traveling, but not as healthy.  At home I eat more but it’s all healthy stuff.  I always start out well when traveling because I’m packing stuff from home.  But as the days pass I’ve eaten all the food from home and become not as careful with my choices.

I also do more scheduled exercise at home but sit more (at the computer).  When I’m away from home, I seldom sit, but I also don’t do any scheduled exercise.  I do walk a lot more and do a LOT more stairs when I’ve visiting.  (Not to mention all the times I’m up and down on the floor when dealing with small children.)

When I’m driving, I try to do some incline push-ups and squats every time we stop for gas.  Yes, I do look funny, but that’s okay.  And most of the time there was nobody else around anyway.

So this week I’m home I’m trying to catch up on mundane things like paying bills, cleaning house, and doing laundry.  Along with fun things like catching up on my blog reading.  And hopefully at least get rid of those couple of pounds so I start out again even.

On the excellent side, I’ve been getting in my vegetables, which isn’t always easy when I travel.  Meals have been pretty catch as catch can … some days it’s something I like, some days it’s not so I just have some vegetables and maybe eggs.  We’ve been in the same place for a couple of days, but are hitting the road again today for five days.  Staying with people so eating will still be a challenge.

I picked up a cold along the way … probably from not getting enough sleep as I need my 9 hours every night.  These people are the rise and shine at 5 am type with no slackers allowed, so I’m missing an hour or two of sleep every night.  Honestly, I don’t know how they keep it up with going to bed at 10:30 pm and getting up between 4:30 and 5 am every day (even on the week-ends!)

I haven’t weighed but my clothes are still fitting okay and my face doesn’t show any gain.  I am retaining more fluid due to the humidity (of which there is none in Calgary) and being on my feet from sunup to way past sundown which means my legs are swollen.  It’s always something, isn’t it?  So I just wear my compression hose and deal with my legs feeling fat, recognizing it’s temporary.

Exercise has been lots of walking and going up and down stairs … nothing formal but I’m moving more than I do at home.

I’ve been trying to keep up with the blog reading and commenting when I have access.  Hope everybody is doing well.  I’m off to pack for the next trip …

I hit the road a week ago and it’s been going fairly well.  I did have one day where the temptations seemed almost too much, but I just drove on past.

Part of the pull is that I have access to foods that I don’t eat normally … like candy.  And yet at every fuel stop I walk by rows and rows and rows of candy.  I don’t buy it, but the temptation is there.  And I won’t even get into the little local restaurants and bakeries where we used to stop on a journey and get a bite to eat and a cookie to go.

Instead I have bags and bags of cut-up vegetables, cashews (the only nuts I like), apples, bananas, Greek yogurt, and bottles of water.  We usually stop at night for dinner, but that’s the only meal we eat on the road.

I’ll be traveling until the middle of April.  I hope to be able to catch up on some blogs this week-end when we’re in one place for a couple of days, but we’ll see.  Meanwhile we’ll keep on keeping on.

Everything else, though is excellent.  Well, except for the little matter of my SO slow weight loss.  I always hit the mid-180′s and my weight just won’t budge.  Given that my eating is superior and I’m exercising 6 days out of 7, I do expect a swoosh one of these days.  Soon.  I hope.

I have managed to easily avoid all grains and sugars.  The only tempting thought has to do with cupcakes and since I am absolutely, positively, not going there, it is pretty easy to just say no to myself and be done with it.

Fruit intake has been occasional  … mostly because it’s hard this time of year to find good-tasting fruit where I live.  Except for bananas which I don’t like to eat everyday because of their high carb count.  But man alive when I do eat one it tastes super-sweet.  I did get some delicious oranges a couple of weeks ago, but lately they haven’t been worth it, price-wise ($2.29/lb) or taste-wise.  I also made the mistake of buying some strawberries a couple of weeks ago … blech … talk about tasteless.

Vegetables on the other hand have been pretty tasty.  One of my favorite lunches is tuna salad with tuna, green onions, shredded carrots and zucchini, tomatoes, celery, mini-cucumbers (you wouldn’t believe how much I pay for this delicacy … $5.00 for 14 oz … ouch), lemon-pepper seasoning, pickle relish (or chopped pickles if I’m out of relish) and home-made mayonnaise.  I usually make a batch of vegetable soup to start the week and then we have roasted vegetables with salad for dinner (along with a protein).

I am looking forward to springtime in the Rockies … which I hope is going to show up sooner or later.  I plan on taking my bike to the bike shop next week and getting it tuned up in the hopes that when I get back from my month-long trip it will have warmed up enough to bike.  That may be just what I need … to up the exercise even more to get the scale moving again.

This is a picture from a house my IRL friend, Maureen, was looking at in her house-hunting.

Seriously, people, this is the picture you put on the web to sell your house?????

Personally, I would consider not telling the world that I weigh myself naked while looking in a 3-sided mirror.  :)