End of the line … at least for now

Wow, got back home and things are really hopping.  Mac and I have a fabulous opportunity to go on a mission trip to South America … something that’s been in the works for the last couple of years.  He will work as an engineer building wells and schools and I will work as a teacher!  So exciting (and scary at the same time)!  I’m going to shut down this blog in a couple of days, but wanted to let anybody who’s still out there that I’m not disappearing, just changing direction.  I wish you all well and thank you for your friendship over the last years.  It’s been fun!

packing up …

Last of the company has left and no more weddings until Thanksgiving!  We’ve been busy cleaning up inside and out to close up the cabin for winter.  There have been a couple of nice windstorms this season, so lots of tree branches needing to be removed.  Despite the cooler temperatures, the burn ban is in effect until 10/1 so we’ll leave it to the neighbors to have a big bonfire after we’re gone.

We’re taking the long way home and visiting kids and grandkids which means I won’t have a computer for about 3 weeks.  We’ll get to see some football and soccer and even some fall baseball while we touring.  Fun times!

That’s all I’ve got for now … will check back in in a month or so when we get back home.

September 11, 2001


“For the husband who told his wife I love you one last time before his plane went down in a field, for the wife who stopped in the stairs to call her husband to say I will love you forever, for the mothers and fathers who kissed their kids goodbye the morning they died, for the policemen who rushed in with the firemen to help get others out only to die themselves, for the soldiers who fought back and lost their lives… Today, tomorrow, 20 years from now – I will remember you.” 

Author Unknown

If it’s 55 for the high, is summer over?

Our poor company this week-end.  Not only was it too rough to go out in the boat, it was rainy and cold with a winter storm warning above 6,000 feet (we’re right around 5500).

It’s been a super busy summer … busier than normal.  Totally due to all the nieces/nephews getting married.  We have 2 more in September … which means 2 more lots of company … then we’re out of here.  It’s been fun to see all the family (on both sides), sometimes multiple times.  Pretty much party, party, party all summer long!

I think this is the longest I’ve gone without blogging.  And, I didn’t miss it at all.  Not sure what that means, except that life was full and lots of fun, with no time to sit around.

Plus … not a lot to say.  My eating is boring … same old, same old.  I don’t blog personally about my family because of privacy.  My weight is slowly creeping down which is equally boring.  Sheesh, I’m no fun at all, am I …

Before I wrote this post, I totally debated just writing Gwen privately (because she asked what happened to me) and giving up blogging altogether.  This is really the first time I’ve come close to saying I’m done.  So me, being me, I had to do a list.  Hahaha.

On the pro side:

  • 3 or 4 people read it.  (hahaha … I totally crack myself up.)
  • I don’t like it when people disappear and I don’t want to do that.
  • When I reach goal I totally want to brag on it here.

On the con side:

  • Nobody is really reading it and fewer are commenting so I’m only writing for myself.
  • if I’m only writing for myself, then I don’t need to publicly blog.
  • Nobody’s reading (except for my few faithful friends) because I’m boring.  I know I’m boring.  I’m bored by how boring I am.

What I could do:

  • never write on my blog again (probably not going to happen)
  • only write once a month (sounds good to me)
  • be more interesting (oh my goodness, I really do crack myself up.)

What I am going to do:

  • write when the spirit moves me … which is what I do now.

Well, that’s settled.  Hahaha.


My nemesis …

So we do this 5K hike some days and I’m doing pretty well with it, but still somewhat huffing and puffing climbing up the hill.  And I totally blame that on carrying extra pounds.  And maybe it is.

Unfortunately the last week or so I’ve been schooled by this woman who totally rocks it heading up the hill.  And she is a lot more overweight than me.  A lot more.  Her weight is definitely not holding her back.  The times we’ve passed her when we’re going down the hill and she’s going up I can’t even hear her breath.  At all.  What????  Could it be that I’m just out of shape (besides being fat)?  Ha … looks like it.

Truthfully, I haven’t been pushing myself, choosing to get my 12,000 steps in on level ground (all the while thinking … yay, me, I’m getting 12,000 steps.  WTG.  Wahoo.  I’m awesome.), rather than with the hiking every day, because I kept thinking I’d just lose the weight and then the hiking wouldn’t be so hard.

When the reality is if I’d been hiking 7 days a week, it would get easier regardless of how much I weigh.

So we’re doing the 5K hike at least 5 days a week and I’m thinking that by the end of the month I won’t be huffing and puffing quite so much.  🙂

Still playing around with my macros, hoping to get to a good weight.  I’ve been pretty much maintaining for the last couple of years.  Which is kind of/sort of okay.  I mean, it’s better than gaining.  Right?  But right now I absolutely want to get this weight off before the end of the year.  I feel like, now that I’ve passed the big 60, that I’m running out of time … not so much to lose weight, but to really enjoy weighing less.  Plus … clothes.  🙁  I literally have not bought new clothes in a couple of years because I refuse to buy the same size.  And I’m getting really, really, really tired of wearing the same things.  I want some cute clothes in my life, but whenever I actually go try stuff on I don’t like how it looks so I don’t buy it.

I also changed my goal weight.  I know I’m small-boned … even obese my ring-size was 4.5-5 and I can easily overlap my middle finger and thumb around my wrist.  We’ll see though.  OTOH, I’m obviously not somebody who hyperventilates over the number on the scale (because if I did I would have passed out years ago), so the goal weight is a movable object.


Thought I’d try to get one more post in before the deluge of company.  We have several family weddings (nieces and nephews) so lots and lots of company expected.  Plus for the first time in a couple of years, all the kids and their spouses and their kids will be here for 10 days … 30 people, people.  I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been able to do the usual prep, although the most time consuming thing is prepping the fresh fruits and vegetables and that can’t really be done ahead of time.  I may be letting costco do my prepping for me.  Haha.

Still on the LCHF template … weight is down 2 pounds for June … I’m happy with that.  My only concern with all the kids etc being here is all the yummy fruit that will be around.  I’m not planning on having that first bite … just don’t need to go down that rabbit hole.  It’s just too sweet for me … a double whammy, really.  I can’t eat just one serving and it makes me not only want more of the fruit, but more sweet stuff.

I’m doing okay with the hiking … not where I want to be, but I know if I keep at it (and keep losing weight) that it will get easier.  Fasciitis and tendonitis are still under control.

I’m just wrapping up the graphic design project … told her if she wanted any other changes she’d have to wait until August.  Or September.  Yay, probably September.


No time …

I’m here, just been super busy.  I took on a graphic design project made all the more difficult by the fact that I haven’t done graphic design in years.  🙁  This is for a dear friend who is starting her own business and doesn’t have the money to hire somebody good.  Hahaha.  Seriously, she’s seen other designs I’ve done and had already tried to work with a couple of other people that just couldn’t get her vision.  I’ve actually had a lot of fun doing it, but it’s taking a LOT of my time.  Lucky for her it’s been fairly cool here (30’s at night and 50’s in the day), so we don’t have any company yet.

Still on the LCHF protocol and still loving it.  One thing about being farther north is that daylight hits about 4:30 am (and it’s not dark at night until after 10 pm).  Anyway, I’ve been popping out of bed about 5 to 5:15 am and hitting the trail by 5:30.  Fasciitis and tendonitis are still under control … if I get in too many steps (usually over 15,000) I might feel a twinge here and there, but no chronic problems.  Yay!

I’m down a few more pounds, which is awesome.  With around 20 pounds to lose, I recognize that it is going to be a slow process and I’m okay with that.  Especially feeling as good as I am!

That’s all I’ve got for now … company will start arriving in about a week, so things will be really hopping here.  I probably won’t get a chance to post again until August!

Memorial Day 2016

Memorial Day

Made it …

It’s been a busy couple of weeks.  Lots of babysitting and graduations and weddings with more weddings scheduled for this summer and fall.  Makes for a packed summer.

The drive north was very nice … I felt so lucky to have been able to avoid any of the bad weather/flooding that happened just before or just after my drive.  Our weather here is quite cool … high 30’s at night and low 50’s during the day.  Quite different from the 70 at 6 am that we left.  🙂

Got to the cabin and my weight was the same as when I left … which I consider a win.  And since I have a scale conveniently located (i.e., not on the dock … hahaha) I’ve been weighing every day.  And then remembering why weighing every day is a pain.  Because I’ll go down, down, down, then up, up, all relating to the whoknowswhat.  (And, yes, I’m fully aware that I can take the numbers and average them, blah, blah, blah, but that requires way more effort that I’m willing to put toward coming up with what is really just a number that might or might not be even close to accurate on any given day.  I’d much rather look at the overall  trend … i.e. where am I at the beginning of each month.)  So I’ll probably keep weighing daily (just because it’s there … hahaha) until I forget because I’m in a hurry.

But the good news … despite the up, up … is that I’m about 20 pounds from my goal!  Yay, me.

The bad news, though, is that this is where I always seem to have a tough time getting lower.  I know I’m at an okay weight (179 at 5’7″), but it’s not my best weight and I just need to stay on template and keep it LCHF and I’ll get this last 20 pounds off.

My biggest challenges are keeping my protein moderate, upping my good fats and making sure I get enough calories, as I have no issues staying within my template.  I try to keep my calories over 1200 and under 1500, but a lot of days have a hard time making it to 1000 much less 1200.  I know if I increase my good fats, then it’s pretty easy to reach to the 1200.  I’ve got a few things I’m going to try …

Haven’t tried hiking here yet … we’re just over 5000 feet above sea level so it can take a little while for my body to adjust to the higher elevations.  I felt I was in really good shape, lung-wise, when I left on this trip, but now after a couple of weeks of traveling I feel like I’m totally starting over.  I may just do some short hikes just to get back in shape before I try the harder ones.  I also need to start up with 30 DS again.  I totally planned on doing it while traveling, but it didn’t happen.  For me, it’s one of those things that once I start I’m so happy I’m doing it, but it’s tough to get my rearingrear and actually begin it.

On the road again …

Decided I’d get one more post done before we leave for the trek north.  Trying to get everything organized and packed.  Last year I went minimal, but for some reason this year I want to take everything!  So hard to decide what I’ll use and what I won’t.  🙁

Things are going well with the LCHF … no problems at all staying with the template (high fat/moderate protein/low carb).  Mother’s Day was lots of fun … family softball game and dinner at the house of one of my kids who also is a believer.  No pasta, rolls or dessert there!  He did make chocolate covered strawberries, but since I’m morally opposed to putting chocolate on fruit I wasn’t interested at all.

I have finally reached a point (thanks to no grains/sugars/inflammatory foods) where my Achilles tendonitis is totally gone and the plantar fasciitis is 99% healed.  I had gotten to the point where it was only occasional twinges, but even those are gone.  SO happy.  I’ve been dealing with the tendonitis for forever!

One of the books I’m re-reading is Gretchen Rubin’s book on forming habits … so good to be reminded of my personality type (abstainer) and what works for that type (not even one bite).  If I do get some random thoughts of thinking of foods, I think about what I want and realize that I wouldn’t be happy with a small serving; I’d want some and then some more and then some more and then maybe I’d stop.  At least for then.

Disclaimer:  If you are a moderator and able to moderate, I’m happy for you.  I’m not a moderator.  I’m happy when I don’t have to decide will I or won’t I or how much is a small serving or how much is too much.  There isn’t even a decision to be made for me; I already made the decision when I decided to abstain from sugars and grains.  Having made the decision to abstain makes me happy.  🙂

So onto the scale … honestly the only time I think I should weigh myself is when I’m writing a blog post!  Hahaha.  I’d rather weigh once or twice a month and feel like I’ve made real progress than weigh every day and worry about the ups and downs.  And I know as long as I follow the template I will make progress.

Besides, I’ve always had an excellent awareness of what my weight is … I can usually guess within a half a pound when I do weigh in, whether I’ve gained or lost.

Exercise has been great … the temperature has been in the 70’s (at 6 am!) when we walk, but since the sun is just starting to rise it has not been uncomfortable at all.  I will miss my trainer while I’m gone, but plan on doing 30 day shred to compensate, plus where the cabin is is much more of a hike than a walk in the morning.

I should be at the cabin in 3 weeks so probably won’t check in again before.  Wish me luck on my travels!  This has always been one of my challenges … staying as firmly on plan as I would be if I was home.  I am not planning on taking any nuts with me … they are just too easy to eat out of boredom.  In fact, I’ll have no snacks at all.  I’ll have a couple of hard boiled eggs from the hotel for breakfast and then wait to eat again when we stop for the night.  Ciao!

It’s a good life …

Things are still going well.  Last week I had a few random, fleeting thoughts about, of all things, frosting.  Not sure what brought it on, but when I really thought about (instead of just trying to ignore it) I realized I had no interest.  And truthfully it was partly because, once again, one bite would be too much and even an unlimited amount would never be enough.  But also I really did have zero interest.  Nice.  🙂

So some of what I’m going to say, I said in reply to Wendy’s comment, but it really does encapsulate where I am.  I’ve done about 10 days following LCHF protocol … I mean to give it at least 8 weeks since it doesn’t always produce (weight loss) results right away, particularly under my circumstances (post menopause, carb sensitive, etc). So far, though, I’ve had zero problems with it and every day my energy increases and my appetite decreases. I’m not quite ready to go with only one meal a day, but I’m currently very satisfied with one and half, instead of two. Reducing my protein hasn’t been too tough, as I wasn’t too horribly out of line starting out, but it is something I have to watch. I have found I do SO much better with more fat and less protein.  I’ve never had problems sleeping (going to sleep or staying asleep), but now I’m good with 8 hours rather than the 9 (or even 10) hours I was needing before.  And my nails … wow.  I’ve never really had a serious problem with nail strength, but even after 10 days I can’t believe how fast they grow.  My hair too … I have been blessed with thick, naturally curly/wavy hair and just accepted that it was going to get thinner as I aged.  However, it’s gotten much fuller and healthier (and curlier strangely enough) again just in the last two weeks.  (Even my hairdresser asked what I’d been using on it as she noticed a difference.)

Still haven’t gotten on the scale, although I do know I’ve lost some … probably plus or minus 3 pounds.  It really shows in my face (which, seriously, was not a place I was worried about losing weight. 🙂 )  I accept that it’s going to take a while to lose these last 30, but I’ve schizzled around the last four years and even if it takes four more (#pleasedontletittakefourmore) to lose the last 30 that’s better than being the same weight in four more years.

AND taking that week off seems to have done the trick (at least for now) for the plantar fasciitis in my left foot.  We walked all last week and while there were a few twinges here and there with both feet (I have Achilles tendonitis in my right foot), there wasn’t any pain like I had.  So a win there!

Step Two

Things are going well.  I feel like I’ve spent the last couple of weeks, just getting back to a “better for me” template on the LCHF side of things.  I was having WAY too much fruit and too many nuts.  One thing that did not help was that one of my kids made this nut mix that he got from Mark’s Daily Apple.  You Cuisinart (which isn’t a verb, unless I say it is!) dates, Macadamia nuts, pecans, walnuts, a little bit of coconut flakes, and then add coconut oil … HMMOG … it tastes just like raw cookie dough.  I did okay for the first month it was in the refrigerator, but once I’d quit with the fruit and raw nuts, I started grabbing a bite here and a bite there.  Pretty soon what had been taking me a MONTH to eat was now taking a WEEK.  Yikes!  Just like with nuts and fruit (and chocolate) … way too much for ME and I had a tough time controlling amounts.  So I quit that a week ago.  And, of course, don’t miss it at all.  One more thing that one bite is too much and 10 bites are never enough.

Anyway, since I’ve knocked those “extras” off my template and gotten my carb count down where it needs to be, I’m ready for step two which is getting carbs/protein/fats percentages balanced in the right amounts for ME.

And in reading new material and re-reading some old, I do think I need to moderate my protein intake and up my fat.  It’s tough because I really do like chicken without the skin (which makes it higher protein and lower fat than what I need).  So this week I’m paying attention to good-for-me proteins that follow a LCHF template.  I’m looking at MY protein range … somewhere, I’m figuring, between 60 and 74 grams a day.  Eventually I won’t need to be so OCD about the amount, but since the weight is not falling off like it did even a couple of years ago (which wasn’t anything to write home about but it was a LOT better than now) it’s become more important.  The primary difference between now and a couple of years ago is that I now have much lower estrogen having gone through menopause since then.  I was exceedingly fortunate that menopause for me consisted of having a period one month (and totally regular before that) and then not having one the next month or ever since.  I had no other symptoms.  At all.  So yay for that.  But menopause … regardless of symptoms or no symptoms … still means a loss of estrogen.  Which means one of the hormones helping to get and keep weight off is not able to do what it used to do.

I also took a week off to give my plantar fasciitis on my left foot a chance to heal.  It would get better over the week-end, but come Monday morning when we’d walk it would flare up again.  Meanwhile, though, hip hip hooray, the Achilles tendonitis on my right foot has left the building.  Now I’m not sure if the discomfort in the left foot made the the discomfort in the right foot seem to not be as bad, or what.  However, after week off, there’s no discomfort in either foot.  Monday will tell the tale though.  At this point, though, what with all the travel we have coming up in May, I think that my schedule will probably dictate a week off every four or five weeks, and hopefully that will be enough to keep it under control.  I think getting this 10 pounds I gained off will definitely help too.



Thought I’d at least get a short post done today … I’ve succumbed to a cold brought to me by my precious grandkids … hahaha.  I’ve actually been pretty lucky this year.  Usually when I get back to town, after having not been exposed to their germs for a couple of months, I get hit pretty badly with whatever’s going around.  This is only the second cold I’ve had in the last year … pretty good considering how many cold-bearing babies have stuck their fingers in my mouth.  🙂

LCHF is going great after two weeks.  No problems at all in staying away from the sugars/grains.

However, I really don’t feel like I’ve lost much … maybe a pound or two.  Which is disappointing because I always want the weight GONE.

More important than losing weight, though,  (I know!  who thought there was anything more important than losing the weight????) is to stick with the plan.  I have faith that the weight will come off … probably pretty slowly but that’s okay as long as it STAYS off.

I’m still dealing with the shoe saga … took the first pair back and got a second pair.  Haven’t had a chance to try them out yet.  They are the same brand, just a different model which is wider so actually my size, rather than 1/2 of a size up.  Might try them on Thursday; I need to be home for a couple of hours in a row so I can wear them for an extended period of time.

new shoes

I finally went out looking for new walking shoes.  The good news is that the ones I’ve been wearing are good for my stride … totally even wear pattern.  I tried on the 2016’s in the same brand and needed to go up half a size.  What????  The guy said that they had really added a lot of padding, so everybody was going up in size.  Okay, I guess.  The bad news is that because one of my feet is a whole size smaller than the other foot, going up half a size means it fits fine on the right and is really loose on the left.  I’ll try cinching up the laces a bit more on the left and try them again tomorrow because I don’t want to have to find a new brand.  My feet are wide (like double wide) so it’s not easy to find shoes that don’t cause pressure points.  These are okay width-wise, just don’t care for my left foot sloshing around.

Beginning of week 2 and still on point … kind of amazing that nothing with sugars/grains interests me after weeks (months?) of thinking I wanted some NOW.  And it’s not that I’m having to talk myself out of it; it just isn’t an issue.  Even went to my twins’ birthday party yesterday (yikes, when did I become the mother of 40-year olds??????) and wasn’t even slightly tempted by the cake, candy and ice cream.

and speaking of the twins … when I was full-term with them (and they each weighed 7 plus pounds), I weighed 20 pounds less than I do right now.  Sheesh.

Haven’t been weighing or tracking, but it’s still working for me.  Thought about getting on the scale this week-end, but decided I want to wait at least a month.  Which is fine … since I’m not avoiding it (like I do when I know I’ve gained, but don’t want to acknowledge the gain) but just don’t want it influencing my eating either way.  Because really I’m just as likely to think I can loosen up my eating because I’ve lost weight (as in, I’ve got this so I don’t need to be so strict) as I could think I could loosen it up because I’ve gained (and so what’s the use).  I’m only a week in, though, so not worried about it … at the most, if I’m very lucky,  I’ll have lost a pound.

Big whoop.  Hahaha.

Not worried about too many carbs either, since it’s been pretty easy to keep them very low.

The thing that’s really motivating me is the idea that the weight is just going to fall off … and if it’s not, I don’t want to know about it!  So no scale for the time-being.

And just because … I love pictures of lakes.  🙂

The Lake (2)

EZPZ … so far

Day 2 is done with no sugar/no grains/no problems.  I don’t know why I think it is going to be this huge thing when it’s all just a matter of deciding.  I’m sure I’ll have days/moments when it won’t be this easy, but having the right mindset is 99% of what I needed to do.  I’ve got my meals set for the week, with left-overs planned for brunch.

If I’m really listening to my body, I only eat twice a day, fasting from 6 pm to about 10 am, and when I’m doing well I don’t snack at all because I’m not hungry.

OTOH, when I’m eating too many carbs (regardless of the source … nuts, fruit, chocolate, grains), I feel like I need to eat all the time … not so much because I’m hungry, but because I’m not satisfied.

So my goal is to get and stay on track … not going to worry about losing weight right now.  I’ll tweak things as I need to once I’m solidly on plan.



One more time around Piccadilly Circle…

I feel like the last couple of weeks have just flown by.  We had company for almost 3 weeks straight … sometimes not even 6 hours between one group leaving and another arriving.

Such a blessing to be able to have all our family here for their spring breaks … not everybody had the same week off, hence the 3 weeks of company.  🙂  I got in lots and lots and lots of baby time … treasuring every moment even more because after 15 years of babies, I suspect everybody is done and these last two little ones will be it.  I adore all my grandkids, but … hello, we’re talking babies.  There isn’t anything better.  For real.

I’m also done with taxes … told people a week ago that 3/21 was the last day I was willing to look at returns and I’ve finished all those that came in that day.  This is my last year too.  Really.  I mean it.  (Hahaha … I admit I’m a softie, especially when it comes to kids (well, young adults really) needing help so we’ll see.  I’m really trying to get everybody in a place where they are comfortable doing their own.)

And lastly … the elephant in the room.  🙁  I’m stuck at about 10 pounds over my lowest (that I stayed at for more than 2 minutes).  Back to needing to lose those last 30 pounds.

On the positive side, exercise has been splendid.  Getting 7,000 to 10,000 steps a day and lifting weights with a trainer twice a week.

Eating, though.  Wow, for some really stupid reason I went from never, ever eating grains to having some “treats” made with coconut flour, to eating cookies.  🙁  Not good.  I’m lucky in that I don’t get any physical symptoms from eating grains, but I’m mad at myself for letting them back into my life.  I’ve gone a long, long time without having any desire … at all … for desserts, but once the door was opened I jumped right through it.

Normally when I have something that doesn’t work for me … like dark chocolate or nuts or fruit … I might have it for a day or two and then I realize how stupid it is to keep eating it and I stop.

This time, though, with the grains, it’s been more of a struggle … I’m dealing with that idea that once they are gone I’m not having any so maybe I should have some before I don’t have any.

And yes it is as idiotic as it sounds.

The only bright light in the whole thing is that it reminds me, once again, that all in (sugar/grain-free) is the only happy, peaceful path for me.

My real problem is that I want it to always be easy … to never be tempted.  But I have to realize that, even after months and months of not wanting sugar/grains, that desire can absolutely pop up again and it’s only by not crossing that line in the sand that I can stay strong.

So one more time … one last time … no sugar/no grains.  That’s absolutely where I need to be and stay …


ten days of nothing …

That’s what I’ve got … nothing much going on the last ten days.  But I thought I’d check in anyway.

Exercise and strength training having been spot on … I have found a sweet spot with my Achilles tendonitis as to how far I can go each time without triggering inflammation.

Unfortunately I still haven’t let go of the fruit and nuts.  And they are not the lower carb fruits, either.  Oranges, pineapple, bananas, apples.  🙁  Nuts haven’t been too awful … much easier to control because I easily tire of them.  Cheese is out … doesn’t taste good right now for some reason.  So there’s at least that.  Haha.

Things are busy, but blah here.  Lots of work to do, but it’s too easy to let the focus I need to lose weight to be turned toward other things.  Important things, yes, but I do have the ability to focus on more than one thing at a time.  🙂  Not sure what I’ve done with my get up and go, but nothing’s going to change until I find it.

Weather isn’t helping … it’s really dreary.  We’ve gotten close to 10″ of rain in the last 24 hours (no flooding, thankfully).  Once the sun does come out, though, it is going to be beautiful … so green!

Back home

We made it back.  It was a busy, busy, busy trip and I barely had a minute to myself.  We had 3 weeks of babysitting grandkids … one week with each family … and all three families had teething babies or toddlers!  So not a lot of sleep and lots and lots of baby holding.  There were days and days and days that I didn’t even turn on my computer, much less have a chance to sit down and read anything.  It was all good, though.  We had lots of special time with the kids and the parents all got some time for themselves.  And it’s never happened before (and hopefully won’t happen again!) that they all had things planned 3 weeks in a row.

Not that I have any time now that I’m home … tax season is always busy for me, but even more so since I have to compress it into 3 less weeks.  I have a stack of returns here just waiting for me to go over them, plus still dealing with my aunt’s estate (which I totally set aside while I was gone … even if I could have found the time to deal with things my mind was shot from lack of sleep!)  Anyway, I did want to check in to prove I’m still here.  I’m hoping to get some blog reading done tonight and maybe even leave a comment or two.



Just wanted to get one more post done while I still had time.  Once we get up north, I know I won’t get any opportunities to post …

I’ve been so busy the last 10 days trying to get all the tax returns done.  Normally I work with the kids (nieces/nephews/friends/friends of friends … almost all 20-something’s at their first job) to teach them how to do their own taxes.  This year I just didn’t have the time, so I did them all myself … it’s actually a lot easier for me.  I got everybody’s done who had their information to me this week … probably 20-30 returns.  I passed on the information to everybody else that if I didn’t have their tax stuff by Wednesday, then they’d have to wait until I got back.  Still plenty of time before they’re due, but most of these kids have big plans for their refunds so want them ASAP.

Eating has been … haphazard I guess I’d have to say.  I’ve been too busy to go to the grocery store, so we’ve been eating out of the freezer and whatever in-season vegetables the local farmer delivers.  Plus all my big plans for going through my recipes and planning meals didn’t happen … as much because of a lack of time as a lack of real interest.  Dinner has been easy … protein and whatever vegetables, but lunch, which is normally left-over food from the night before,  has been lacking mainly because we’ve been eating a LOT of fish (like 3 to 4 times a week because that’s what I have the most of in the freezer) and I just can’t stomach left-over fish.  So I went back to cheese and nuts because they were easy, but while they haven’t caused me to gain, they also don’t help me lose either.  I wish I could find the love for eggs and bacon again, but honestly even thinking about eggs makes me nauseated.

I have been on task with exercise though.  And, even better, my Achilles tendonitis has not flared up so far. I have kept my mileage under 5K per outing … any time I try to bump it up the ankle starts getting sore again.  I am still getting 7,500 to 10,000 steps a day, just not getting them so much all at the same time.  Weight training is going well also …

I am not happy where I am weight-wise (well, clothes-wise really since the scale is still broken).  I really want to get down another couple of sizes.  I know if I’d work harder on healthy eating side that the weight would come off … right now I’m not setting myself up for success because I don’t have the foods I should be eating available to eat.  That’s the main thing I need to work on.  I’m happy I’m not eating the grains/sugars, but that obviously isn’t enough for me to be at a healthy weight.

That’s all I’ve got for now … I should be back the end of February if everything goes as planned.  I’ll try to catch up on blogs when I get internet (which will be VERY intermittent unfortunately).

Finally …

Got two days in a row with no nuts, no dairy, no fruit and no chocolate.

Why I waited so long to get with the program is beyond me because it really wasn’t that hard.  Just needed to make sure I had enough protein and fat to keep me satisfied.

Even more amazing is that I still have fresh fruit in the house (along with nuts and chocolate) and I haven’t been tempted in the least.

The main problem I have is this idea that I can start tomorrow … and probably should just start tomorrow because once I start there’s no more .

The one thing I did manage to do right was to not feel like I had to stuff every single piece of fruit, nuts and chocolate in my mouth before I got back on task.  While I was eating them, I was trying to control them … and I did control them as far as how much I ate.

What I was having difficulty with was not eating them every single day.

I guess the scale is broken and that’s why it’s nowhere to be found.  That’s okay … I don’t want to see too high of a number and console myself OR see a loss and think I have this conquered and can loosen up.

I need to get my meals set for the week … I’ve been going through my recipes trying to find things that sound good and have plenty of protein and fat.

Still swamped …

… with paper work and now it’s tax season so doing returns on top of the other stuff.

Exercise has been great … I love being somewhere that we can walk every morning (unless it’s pouring rain).  I also started up again with strength training twice a week.  The only thing I have not been consistent with is the biking.  Not sure why really as I love to bike.  I think it has to do with having to change clothes to go do it … hahaha.

Eating … blech.  Still too many nuts and fruits … and yes chocolate.  All of which are “I can’t really control my eating with these things” foods.  And of course the fruits weren’t blueberries and raspberries and low sugar fruits … no, no, no, we’re talking sweet bananas and sweeter pineapple. (Along with some really tasty apples … pink lady, my favorite.)  I know fruit is supposed to fill you up, but I could eat a bowl of fruit that should feed 4 people all by myself.  Actually at this point the only thing I am restricting is the chocolate.

I do need to find the scale and get back on it (am I the only person whose scale disappears on a regular basis????).  Of course, I haven’t really been looking for it … I know I’m not going to be happy with the number.  But face it I will.

Anyway, I’ll try to check in a couple of times before we leave for a month … I can’t believe how fast this year is already going.  I for one would like life to slow down!

checking in …

Been really busy with settling my aunt’s estate and dealing emotionally with her loss.  We finally made it back home this last week-end (had to stay to clean out her house and get it on the market).  Lots of paperwork to take care of, plus a couple of other properties to deal with.

She was well into her 90’s (98) when she passed just before Christmas, but had been able to still live on her own in her home.  Her passing wasn’t totally unexpected, given her age, and she died quietly in her sleep which was a blessing.  Last summer we had gone over everything she wanted done, from her funeral to her estate.  The funeral was beautiful … lots of joy and actually fun to catch up with all the family that were able to make it … just the way she envisioned it.

Her estate is a bit more time-consuming and will take months to get everything done (along with quite a bit of travel), but it’s my privilege to do this for her.

Meanwhile, I actually had a wrap up the year blog post that I’d mentally written, but now 2 weeks into the new year I don’t remember any of what I was going to say.

So all I can talk about is currently … haven’t gained/haven’t lost.

Actually that was probably what my EOY blog post was going to say!

Now that I’m back home, I can get back to my weight lifting and walking.  It’s a little cold for biking (I only bike when the temperature is between 50 and 80 … haha.)  Eating has been very haphazard … there were days when all I ate was nuts and fruits which almost guarantees a gain for me.  I haven’t gotten on the scales since I’ve been back, but I still have great cheek bones and my jeans fit, so I can’t be too out of line.

I start traveling in a month (will be gone for a month with all I need to do), so really want to get back into a good routine before I head out.

And I’m also going to be changing the email on this blog and deleting my old one.  I made the mistake of checking my annual credit report using my siobhanmc2013 email and I’m getting 20 to 50 spam emails a day as a result.  (I know it’s due to annualcreditreport.com because I never use this email except to receive email from this blog … so beware.  It’s free to check your 3 credit reports, but obviously somebody is selling email addresses.)

Hope to get around to checking out blogs … for some reason my blog roll is not updating which is a pain.  And this after I even sent them a donation.  :X

Snowed in for Christmas …

So, yeah, we are snowed in.  Seriously.  I mean, we could hike out, but there is no driving.  We’re at the cabin and had a lot of snow fall last night.  Normally no problem.  But then the highway department, for reasons beyond my comprehension, decided to pile up the snow they plowed in front of our road.  And right now it’s piled higher than our car, so no getting out for now.

In their defense, we haven’t been here for the last 3 Christmases.  It just never occurred to me to call the highway department and inform them of our travel plans!

We’ve got a call into them, but it’s still snowing (hence they are still plowing and sanding the main roads … which we totally want them to do) so no idea when they will get back to us.  At least they aren’t going to pile any more on top of it.

And it wouldn’t be that big of a deal except our refrigerator quit working sometime in the last 8 weeks and everything inside was spoiled.  And that wouldn’t be a problem because we could put stuff outside to keep cold, but we can’t get to the grocery store.  So we’re stuck with canned goods of which we have … 1 can of tomatoes, 1 can of chili beans, and a jar of peanut butter and a box of crackers.

We were planning on going to the grocery store today … haha.

Right now my plan is to fast until dinner and hope that the road is cleared by then.

If not, I guess it’s peanut butter for dinner.  I can’t even tell you the last time I ate peanut butter … probably 3 to 4 years ago.  It used to be my breakfast every morning … peanut butter on toast.  But when I quit eating bread, I quit eating peanut butter.

At least we have propane for heat and the electricity is still on.


Every day …

Of course, I thought today would be no problem (since the last couple haven’t been).  And it hasn’t, really.  Just kind of thinking some of those “I want” thoughts.

Had LO burger with mayo and 2 Babybel (trying to get at least 5 oz. of protein) for brunch.  Water.  Unsweet iced tea (because in the south you always have to specify if it’s sweet or unsweet.  🙂 )

Thankful for the excellent comments on my post yesterday … just what I needed to reaffirm what is right for me.

The other “thoughts” that I need to fight are the … “Yay, me, I’m doing so well, I could be this by this date”.  That kind of thinking for me always leads to “and since that date is this far away, I can start tomorrow”.

Wow, just realized if there is a beginning, then it follows there is an end.

And, again, the truth is, for me, there should be no beginning (and thus no end).  No start day, no finish day.  Just doing what needs to be done every day.

First prize is …

Just had a couple more things on the habit book that I wanted to mention.

First of all, Kitty mentioned in a comment that she had written some posts on moderation vs abstaining.   She also mentioned in her comment that she is a moderator but abstains from situations, as opposed to foods.

That’s the difference to me … a moderator can abstain, but as an abstainer I can’t moderate.  I mean I can moderate (because, honestly, anybody can decide to eat just one or none.)  The problem for an abstainer like me is that moderation doesn’t lead to contentment and the ability to continue to moderate.

While with abstaining, once I get the sugars and grains out of my system, they have no hold on me.  I don’t feel the need to moderate them because I have no desire for them.  Abstaining becomes the easiest thing in the world.

My fail comes when I decide (usually because I feel the chocolate etc has no hold on me because I’ve been abstaining without a problem) to let certain things back in … fruit and chocolate primarily.  I’ll forget my truth and decide somebody else’s sounds like it should be mine.  And once I start letting those things in … no matter how much I tell myself that I’ll moderate them … it just leads to more and more and more and worse (for me) and worse and worse eating choices.  Honestly, I could eat six large cookies at one time and still not be satisfied.  And yet I am perfectly satisfied with eating none.  That is my reality, my truth.  Abstaining leaves me satisfied; moderation never satisfies.

Another point that really struck me from the book was about rewards.  How offering an external reward does not lead to long term success.  This is SO true for me.  When I’m trying to lose weight for something or someone (a wedding, a reunion, a vacation, a challenge, etc), I find that many times it actually sabotages me.  The best thing for me is to focus on one day at a time and my health.  I mean I like the idea of wearing a smaller size and looking better, but I see those as happy side-effects of weight loss, not my primary purpose.

I can’t decide whether to get a hard copy of the book or not … I buy so few hard copies any more because it’s so much easier to have the e-book.  But I feel like I’d like to be able to mark it up and just turn to the page that I have marked.

I am totally back on track … eating plenty of protein, healthy fats and vegetables.  It took way too long to get over eating the chocolate.  The last two days have finally been totally craving free … it took longer than I expected … another lesson learned.